Sexuality Education/Counseling

COMMUNICATION

Quite often we don’t know just how to talk about our desires and fantasies because of embarrassment, fear of rejection, or lack of clarity. Once the blocks to open and honest communication have been identified and cleared, however, we can move on to discussing what we want and need, can learn the differences between the two, and can discover how to have mutually satisfying erotic encounters and/or relationships.

We can also learn how to discuss erotic fantasies, establish trust, and negotiate desires, fantasies, and desire discrepancies.

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TECHNIQUES

Many of us have wished we had someone to turn to for advice on sexual techniques, from the basics -- how to get started, kissing, manual & oral techniques, various positions, birth control, disease prevention, and the use of sex toys -- to the most sophisticated -- gender exploration and crossdressing, bondage, spanking.

Those wishes can be fulfilled! Whether your questions are fundamental or very advanced I will answer with honesty, accuracy, and compassion.

Tantric techniques can enhance anyone's style of lovemaking, whether with oneself, or others. I talk more about Tantra in the Energy section.

In the world of radical sex, (also known as BDSM, or B&D, or S&M), clear communication regarding negotiation, boundaries, limits, and safewords is absolutely necessary, as is a working knowledge of certain techniques.

As co-author, with William A. Henkin, Ph.D., of Consensual Sadomasochism: How To Talk About It & How To Do It Safely; (Daedalus Publishing Company, 2004) - just released in it's updated 2nd edition - and a teacher of BDSM skills since 1985, I offer a safe place to talk and learn. I've a well-equipped play-space where singles and couples can come to learn and practice BDSM techniques.

Although I offer no illegal or sexual activities, I do provide a variety of resources and referrals.

Sometimes what you need is not knowledge about how to play, but how to talk. I've counseled many who have problems, both during and afterward, with their BDSM scenes. I offer you a safe place to talk, be heard, and work out the kinks in your communication.

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POWER

It is very empowering and liberating to know what you like sexually and to be able to ask for it. Many of us did not learn, as we grew up, how to do either one.

We can talk about how to learn what you do and do not like erotically, how and where you like it, how to talk about it, how to ask for it, how to respond if the other doesn't wish to do it, and how to receive it if the other does.

In BDSM, the psychological side is known as D/s, which stands for Dominance and submission. D/s is an erotic game which does not have to include any form of pain, humiliation, or bondage. Exploring the consensual giving and receiving of erotic power can be very empowering for both the Dominant and the submissive. The Dominant can explore what it feels like to be consensually in charge and ask and get exactly what s/he wants the way s/he wants it. The submissive can learn how much power s/he has as one cannot give what one doesn't already have.

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ENERGY

Erotic energy can be felt, increased, directed, released, and exchanged. One form of erotic energy is known as Tantra. Tantra is an ancient form of Yoga that uses energy and energy awareness, breath, sound, movement/stillness, and visualization to enhance and deepen the erotic connection. Tantra can help create a genuinely intimate and profound union between people, even when they are meeting for the first time. Tantra is also about connecting with Spirit through sexuality and energy.

Tantric techniques can be used alone, or combined with BDSM.

Tantric BDSM utilizes the elements of Tantra to enhance the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of BDSM. Masochists will find themselves able to process intense sensation more quickly and easily. Submissives will find themselves able to surrender more deeply and more thoroughly. Dominants can connect more deeply with their submissives, and help them move from level to level more easily.

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ROLES, PERSONAS, & ARCHETYPES

Sometimes when we begin to explore our erotic fantasies through role-play we discover that what initially seemed a fantasy role, something to try on like a piece of clothing, is actually a persona, a part of ourselves that has emerged from deep inside.

When a persona comes forth it brings with it a gold mine of information. Sometimes an erotic persona is archetypal in fashion, a universal pattern existing in images around the world and throughout time, such as The Queen, The Mother, The Warrior, The King, The Virgin. Sometimes it is not an archetype but completely unique unto ones self.

Roles are fun to try out, like trying on a costume for a night. Personas go much deeper, as do archetypes. For more information on personas please go to my Inner Family & Personas page.

Some questions and concerns others have asked and have explored with me regarding sexuality are:

Am I normal?
Can my fantasies be done safely?
How do I find others with similar interests?
How do I tell my partner?
What can I do if my partner and I aren't interested in the same activities?
Can I heal from abuse, and how?
Why do I like this and what does this mean about me?
Where did my fantasy/interests come from?
How do I protect myself from AIDS and other problems and still have fun?
What else is there to do?

What are your questions?

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SYBIL & THE SPIRALWAY || EFT || HYPNOTHERAPY || INNER FAMILY & PERSONAS || SEX EDUCATION || BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT
SPIRITUAL COUNSELING || PHONE SESSIONS & BOOK || CLASSES & WORKSHOPS || EVENTS SCHEDULE || ASSOCIATES
CONTACT || LINKS

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